nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
