I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
