Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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