Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
