Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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