i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
