He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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