O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
