I want to stick my p in your. b.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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