Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
