we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
