Little spoons don't ask big questions
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
