my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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