I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
