Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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