She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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