I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
