My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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