I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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