Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
my poor anus
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
