I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
