My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
