Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
