Non-Jews are for practice
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The struggles of a small town man whore
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
