we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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