just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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