I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
