I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
