i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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