You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
