omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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