omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
