Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
