I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
