remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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