i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
