I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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