I'm drive I can fine osifer
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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