I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
