so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
