She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
