This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
