i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
