Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
