dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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