come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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