the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
