Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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