rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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