We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
