we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
