if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
