Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
