You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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